コーヒー

pitingoloser:

YOGCPO

You Only Get Chicken Pox Once

JESUS

Just mispronounced ‘coke’ as ‘cock’

dammit

tanku:

three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.

why?

because the un deux trois quatre cinq

voldey:

harrytomlomsom:

aleetlepinch:

rocketfists:

I was in a Macy’s dressing room the day that Vondell made everyone fall in love.

Will you remember where you were?

i was eating pb&j in my kitchen

i was BOOKING FLIGHTS TO VIDCON

I was talking to Joseph while he was booking his flight to VIDCON

I was informing Joseph I was going to touch his face at vidcon because I BOOKED MY FLIGHT TO VIDCON

annawintour:

fapjesus:

someone please explain to me why i have 450+ hoarded urls omfg

reported

E X A C T L Y

!!!

brandnewswastikas:

Scientists Announce That They Have One Miley Cyrus Song On Their iPod But It’s A Guilty Pleasure Song, They Don’t Even Have The Full Album Or Anything

youngstero:

I ATE THREE BAGELS FUCK YOU GOD